Saturday, August 6, 2011

If Rajni were the Head of the L&D Department ...

Rajni as the Head of L&D:
  • can close a performance gap with his fist
  • will kick any learning objective that starts with “understand”
  • has an employee number that is Pi to 32,000 decimal places
  • is invisible to the LMS…his training cannot be tracked
  • scares learning into performance results
  • measures his student’s time to proficiency in seconds
  • can squeeze the ROI out of any learning initiative
  • can make learning an event that you will never be able to forget
  • is the highest level proficiency within any competency
  • evaluates his training results at a Kirkpatrick Level 10
  • can blend learning with his bare hands
  • can deliver asynchronous training synchronously
  • can make you unlearn something by staring at you
  • will shoot your PowerPoint bullets back at you
  • can solve a problem using the same thinking he used to create the problem
  • delivers training as if all students have the same learning style – pain
  • doesn’t care who started the learning myth…he’ll finish it
  • doesn't have time for the ADDIE model - only uses the last three letters - DIE
  • Business goals align to Rajni's learning needs
  • SCORM is Rajni compliant
  • Telling is not training ... unless Rajni tells you something
  • People would rather die than role play with Rajni
  • The company had to onboard to Rajni when he arrived
  • The only spatial learning you need to worry about is to get out of Rajni's space
(Note: Due credit to from where the above content was taken, though there it refers to Rajni by his US Avatar - Chuck Norris)